- l - a - m - b - d - a -

-

i am not that clever

i am not that strong

let me be a "lambda" student
- l - a - m - b - d - a -
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# Posted on Thursday, 29 October 2009 at 3:52 PM

Edited on Wednesday, 04 November 2009 at 1:47 PM

_we are all alone

_we are all alone
Fucking world. Just let me be nasty tonight, let me be unfair, let me scream 'cause I can't cry. I don't want to think correctly, I don't want to take care of what I say, I just want to speak and speak, and tell everything I have on the heart, without thinking of consequences, just once, please.

I hate you, and you, and you. I don't want to make efforts. I don't want to forgive you, I don't want to try to understand you. Je veux juste pouvoir vous détester autant que je peux et vous jeter dans la figure tout ce que je ressens, puis après, fuck, je ne veux pas savoir. Je veux me laisser aller, complètement, et me dire que ce n'est pas grave. Laisser tomber les barrières de bonne conduite.

Je devrais pas être là, ce monde auquel je croyais est un leurre. Je veux aller de l'autre coté de la Terre. Ou alors de cet autre coté. Mais il y aura surement d'autres leurres pour moi là bas. Pourquoi ça ne marche pas comme je veux, pourquoi est-ce que ça m'affecte tant.

I would like to be simplier. I would like to know peace. This September is a fucking month.
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# Posted on Monday, 12 October 2009 at 6:06 PM

Edited on Monday, 12 October 2009 at 6:31 PM

Remise-A-Niveau

6 trains
5 planes
3 bus
2 cars

Toulouse, Paris, Madison, Chicago, Madison, Paris, Kerlouan, Toulouse, Lacanau, Toulouse, Paris, Toulouse.

What was the best during your holidays?
What was the worst?

What did you accomplished?
What would you like having accomplished?
How did you change?
What do you wish to do before Christmas?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Est-ce que vous croyez que le virus du Sida se rend compte qu'il nous tue ? Est-ce que vous croyez qu'il le fait exprès ? N'avez -vous pas l'impression que l'on en parle comme s'il devait se battre contre nous pour survivre ? Nous ne connaissons pas l'origine des virus, ni pour quelle raison ils sont sur Terre. Il parait évident qu'ils n'agissent pas comme les parasites : ces derniers ne cherchent pas à nous tuer, car de nous dépend leur survie. Puis le virus n'est même pas une cellule, est-ce seulement un être vivant ? Que sont alors les prion, protéines qui se répliquent toutes seules ?
Est-il personnifiable ? N'y a t-il vraiment pas de solution ? Trouverons nous un jour le nouveau remède contre les virus imbattables ? Are you scared ? Et dans le vie, en général, certains sont bien là pour tuer son prochain, pour lui survivre.

Je sais pas pourquoi ce mois de Septembre est si dur. Je crois que j'aimerai juste avoir un peu plus de temps pour faire ce que j'ai envie de faire, et pas pour faire ce que je me crois obligée de faire. Combien de temps tient-on à ce rythme ? Aurai-je oublié cette merde de P1, pour me laisser abattre si facilement ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





I am cold.
Remise-A-Niveau
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# Posted on Tuesday, 22 September 2009 at 12:13 PM

Edited on Tuesday, 29 September 2009 at 11:13 AM

Do you hear me ? If not, I would understand you do not listen to me.

Do you hear me ? If not, I would understand you do not listen to me.
01/Sept/09

What is my goal?
Losing weight and be taned. And
not to seduce you, guys, I do not
need you. None of you. And you do
not need me, at all. Just find
someone else.
You can think I am selfish. I agree.
But do not blame me for that. You
have been selfish too. Yeah,
remember, it was not that long
time ago. I will not blame you for that.
Nobody is perfect. Whatever you
think, nobody is. Nobody can be
___________________________________________________________________perfect neither in all situations, nor
___________________________________________________________________with everyone, just because
___________________________________________________________________opinions are divergent. Do you ask
___________________________________________________________________for an example? This is an example.

___________________________________________________________________I want to be able to say "I am
___________________________________________________________________happy". Because I am, even if I am
___________________________________________________________________sad tonight. Roughly, I do not have
___________________________________________________________________anything to complain about.
___________________________________________________________________Happiness can be a instantaneous,
___________________________________________________________________or a constant feeling. No matter
___________________________________________________________________how hard it will be on Thursday, I
___________________________________________________________________think I have taken the right
___________________________________________________________________decision.


___________________________________________________________________But still, I am a Human, I have
___________________________________________________________________wishes.

Instables, illogiques et égoïstes. Mais si on est toutes comme ça, alors peut-être que ce n'est pas vraiment notre faute. Peut-être que l'évolution nous a seulement doté d'un cerveau qui donne ce résultat, et que vous vous avez le votre, avec vos défauts propres au mâle, quoique tu en pense. Et dans ce cas, il ne nous reste qu'à essayer, et c'est parfois un échec. Et c'est pas parce que l'on est comme ça que l'on est forcément des connasses, on peut essayer de vivre, on peut aussi essayer d'être de bonnes personnes en étant instables, illogiques et égoïstes.
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# Posted on Saturday, 05 September 2009 at 6:17 AM

Edited on Saturday, 05 September 2009 at 2:24 PM

Faites moi livrer Madison par bateau.

Faites moi livrer Madison par bateau.
[[ Moi, je n'ai rien dit, parce que je le trouvais gentil.]] Gui de Maupassant, Une Vie.


15/August/09

My stomach is full of deep air, it is empty and useless. Can't eat. Yeah, they told us that, that the digestive systeme is sensitive to psychological feelings.
All my body is yelling. It doesn't want you to drive your car.
It doesn't want you to take off in the plane.
It doesn't want you to be angry.
It doesn't want me to leave.

This is amazing how events happening thousands of miles away can affect you.
This is amazing how you can rebuild a life in two months.
This is amazing how I felt good with you.

I wish I could dance again, I want to hear salsa music, and be able to follow you. I want to be able to follow anyone, and never miss a chance to make my partner happy for a few minutes.

I just hate leaving. Why, when I leave some special places, my heart sinks and I just want to promise myself I will come back? Will I? Is it really possible? And in order to make my departure easier, I dream, and I directly start building myself a new life. It reminds me of my departure from Bali. Bi, do you remember the mess in my mind after that?

Does friendship survive overseas?
Does love survive overseas?

What's happening? I am not used to following my feelings against my reason. I am rational, am I not? Will they become quieter? Did I loose my protections barriers? Ben, if you find them in your flat, can you send them back to me in France, please? A weak girl here needs pretend she is stronger.

I try not to think too hard, otherwise I would cry. So intense again. And Ziad, do not ask me if something happened. Intensively fun. Intensively interesting. Intensively enriching.




Let's travel and talk to people.
People are gold, they let you understand a little more.
They let you think there is, perhaps, a goal of being on Earth.
There is something in me which needs to move, which needs to be free.
I want to be cultured. Give me time to work on it.
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# Posted on Friday, 21 August 2009 at 4:52 AM

Edited on Saturday, 22 August 2009 at 12:53 PM